You Have to Fail...........................

....................To Win. Strange, I know. But the truth sometimes is. If you never fail, if you never stumble, if you never lose, then how do you ever learn the power of winning? Okay fine, we all want that undefeated season, and I'm right along with you on that. But let's talk life, not football, baseball, or whatever. Let's talk L I F E. Failing is just part of your existence, sorry, but it is. And because it is, you should learn valuable lessons from it. Lessons of what is important, lessons of working harder, lessons of what is truly so life enhancing that you need to accomplish it. Did the failure really matter that much in the scheme of your life? If so, then nose to the grindstone baby. If it didn't, then wave good-bye and head to the next mountain. Failing builds truth and character. Failing also builds confidence......yes, yes it does. Because when you get up, shake the dust off of your face that landed squarely in the dirt, clear your mind and go at it again, then you learn that you CAN try again and again and however many again's it takes. We are all winners. It just takes some of us longer in certain areas than others. But at the same time we are all failures. And the truth of the matter is, our character comes out more when we fail. Do we build on that failure, do we blame someone else, do we turn our backs and walk away. Whatever you fail, and you do and you will, then you get to decide your reaction. So the crux of the matter is this. No one wins every hand that is dealt. Everyone has and will fail multiple times. But at the end of the day, month, year, your life.......did you take those failures that were important to you and turn them into successes? Or did you walk away and leave a piece of your talent, strength and will lying on the ground?

Acceptance and Resistance

Been thinking of these two words for a couple of day. We accept and resist things every minute of every day. In our own tiny worlds we accept what we think is good and resist what we think is bad. But here's the deal. I wonder if we really know which is which. Maybe, sometimes, yes. But I truly feel like we accept things sometimes because they are easy, thus appearing good and we resist other things because they are hard and seem bad. At times these actions are no- brainers.....they are not even decisions. But at times I think we overlook good that is buried beneath bad so we reject it because of unwillingness to make the effort to dig deep, or being afraid of failure or because we 'can't see the forest for the trees'. I also feel the opposite is true. We accept a life that is okay, mediocre, but easy, when actually if we resisted it and took on bigger challenges, gave greater effort, saw that goal line that might be farther away, we would in the end, actually be resisting bad and accepting good. Am I advocating 24 hour days of work and no play? Absolutely not. Am I saying that we are all failures if we aren't bosses, CEO's or presidents? Nope. What I am saying is that life throws us challenges every day. And everyday we have to make decisions on acceptance and resistance. So in the end, we are the artists of our landscape of life. Here is my question of the day. Are you an engine or a caboose? Think about it. The Little Engines that Could huff and puff and put forth amazing effort while the cabooses, merely follow the track. Accept or Resist. Your choice.

Actions vs Words

We've all heard the old sayings....."Actions speak louder than words." "Stick and stones.......". But really? I'm not totally in agreement. Words are so powerful. Don't get me wrong. I believe our actions SPEAK volumes. But I also believe..."The tongue is a might sword." Words can tear down or build up. Words can shatter hearts. Words can bring laughter or tears. Words are said and then, they are OUT THERE!! You can't suck them back in. You can't magically make them disappear. They are like tiny particles that float or spring or fire out of your mouth and then take on a life of their own. Everyday you build a 'word' quilt. And in this very modern age we build them in many ways. Email, texts, FB, Twitter. We have an abundance of ways to hurt or heal. I wonder if you realize you are knitting, crocheting or quilting your quilt the minute you awaken and start communicating? Think on this. You have a responsibility to be aware of not only what you say, but how you say it. Some of us are more sharp tongued than others......cough cough.....and we have the biggest challenge. Some of us are soft spoken and probably the slowest to build our quilts. So while I think your daily actions are important, and show your character, I also think your words paint pictures of who you really are. I hope today your word quilt is one of encouragement and laughter and love and responsibility. I hope it's comfortable for others. I hope that you realize just how powerful you are and use that power in ways to build up. Words are mighty and everlasting. Please understand this.......and tonight, when you go to bed you are comfortable under the quilt you've sewn today.

Common Sense...............

There are two types of common sense. There are those people who just seem to be able to 'do' things well. They instinctively know how to fix things, build things, figure out the easiest or most expedient way to get things done. I, unfortunately, am not one of those. Take me off my front porch and you better say turn right or left....not north or south. I can take something apart, but put it back together requires a call to someone with way more common sense than I have. So admittedly, I'm not the person you reach out to when you want help doing a chore that requires innate knowledge. Okay now that that's out of the way, let's visit about the 'other' common sense. It's common sense to treat people with dignity and respect. You are no better than they, and in fact, I'm pretty sure I come across many souls every day who are better people than I am. It is common sense to realize that although a day may seem long and tiresome, life is short, live it well. It is common sense to know that your body is a gift, a machine that with age.....cough cough.....is going to need some extra TLC and what you do in your younger years will come back to either pat you on the back, or bite you on the derriere. It is common sense to know that giving to someone else gives YOU more. It is common sense to know that people talk....deal with it. It is common sense to know that no life is perfect, no grass is greener, no one is without problems and NO WAY can you foresee what goes on behind your neighbor's closed doors, so throw that envy away. It is common sense to know that we are a universe of diverse societies and cultures and what you believe to be the 'be all/end all'......just may not be. Respect differences, as much as you expect to be respected. It is common sense to know that an active mind is a sharper mind, but also that peace and quiet grow gardens of maturity and wisdom. And lastly it is common sense to know that you are not a mistake, you were put on this earth for a purpose. Find that purpose. And give it back in spades to the One who made you. Find yourself on your knees both physically and mentally as much as you can. You, my friend, are not the Master of the Universe. But you ARE someone's everything, you ARE loved by Someone so powerful and great and abundant that your mind can't conceive His enormity . Don't squander the life you've been given. Give thanks and then give back. Common sense........you have it. Live it daily.

Bonds.............

This morning I woke up thinking about Bonds....NOT savings bonds, or treasury bonds...but daily bonds we all have in our lives. We are bonded as a human race. We are bonded with community and family and friends and jobs and commitments. Some of these bonds are held by velvet ropes that are soft and enjoyable and good and make us prosper deep inside of ourselves. Some of these bonds not so much. Some we are tethered to with chains that drag us down and make each life step heavy with effort. I think that from time to time we all need to examine our bonds and what effects they have on us. Stop and take a look behind you. Do you see a deep hard heavy trail that has been made by those heavy bonds, those ropes that tie you to things and people that make you miserable? Do you see scars around your ankles where you have been forced to pull on these weights that have burdened you to the point of making each day miserable? I hope if you do, then you find someway to break those chains, heal those scars and when you again take the time to look back there are no deep scars, there are no heavy trails in the paths you've walked. Instead I hope your bonds are light and soft and healing not hurtful. I hope you've surrounded yourself with people and habits and hobbies that prosper you and don't mire you in quicksand. The fact is that no one goes through life without bonds....both good and bad. But the fact also is that you are the pilot of your life, and with Grace and Faith, you can break deadly chains. You can turn your face upward to the clear amazingly beautiful cloudless sky. Enjoy the ties that bind you to what strengthens you. And have the courage to break the bonds that scar and hurt and destroy. You are strong enough to do it. You have only to ask for help. I hope your week begins with velvet bonds and joy. Happy Monday Guys and Dolls.

Time....Times Three

We are three dimensional when it comes to time. We, as humans, live in the present, recollect the past, and look toward the future. This set of circumstances can be both blessings and curses. How sad it would be to lose wonderful memories of the past or not to be able to anticipate exciting things to come. But also how sad to miss out on the present because we dwell on past mistakes and worry about the future. I think sometimes the rooms of our minds are cluttered with too much regret and worry, much like a hoarder only leaves a trail in a house,we only leave a tiny space to enjoy today. And with this overabundance of thoughts, we struggle to walk through our present. We are too busy finding the trail through the mass of mistakes and worry. We have no open space to just be. So today, I hope you clear the clutter. Literally throw it away. It may return, in fact it most probably will, but just today, have a clear, clean, wide open space of the present. Enjoy this day. You can never erase past mistakes, nor change the future by worry. Today, be an open sky, a pasture of swaying grass, a mountaintop of thankfulness. Enjoy this Sunday. It's your day.

Hurdles................

We all have them. They are those personal weaknesses, that keep us from living a truly joyous life. They are obstacles in our paths. They are boulders just around the corner. They are hidden deep within us and sometimes so invisible, we don't even realize they are there without true scrutiny. They are embedded in our personalities and souls. So at this point are you shaking your headed and thinking 'huh'? Stop for a few seconds and see if you recognize your own very personal hurdle. I know mine. I know when it rears it's ugly head and steals the brightness of my day. I know it is a constant battle. Maybe you think you don't have one, but you do. We are all human with our frailness of spirit. None of us are perfect in our emotional lives. NONE OF US! And here's the thing. If you don't know what yours is, then how can you fight it? If it isn't glaringly apparent, then friends, you have to delve very deep into you inner self and study, for I assure you that you have a hurdle. It took years for me to understand mine and then years of faith and prayer and working to overcome that big nasty emotional ride that would without warning suck the air out of my day. It is life. It is your leap to overcome whatever is in your path. It can't be blamed on your family or your friends or your past, but it can and will steal your future if you don't do some soul searching and recognize that you are human and that you do have a hurdle. Yes, today, I'm vague. Today, I may not make much sense to some of you, but I'm betting that some of you are already saying...yep, I get it. I have worked for years to straighten this fragile spot. And I recognize the fact that I will have to continue every day of my life to get over my hurdle. I hope you take this entire blog and when you have a quiet moment do some soul searching. It may take minutes, days or years, but you need to arm yourself for this battle. I promise you it is a hard fought thing, but when you know what you're facing, then you recognize the fight. Ignorance is not always bliss. Knowledge is power. Live your life with courage. Face whatever it there to be faced and then stand strong. Life is worth it....precious beyond belief.

Free...............

Nothing in life is free.......unless you steal it. Okay..that was a little Tuesday sarcasm. This blog is NOT advocating shoplifting. Not one thing in your life is free. Think about it. Now that you've thought for a second, turn away from the materialistic things you were contemplating, and let's delve somewhat deeper. Emotional freedom......it's not illusive. No matter what you do, you invest emotionally. Take a new job......you're invested. Make a friend....invested. Begin a new life whether by moving, marriage...invested. Cultivate any of the above.......deeply invested. So I think my point is this. You HAVE to put yourself out there........be vulnerable, open doors of emotion, be willing to be not only loved, but also hurt if you are to truly have a well lived life. Find your spot. And then invest your emotions. Dig deeper into whatever and whomever truly means something to you. You have a passion...we all do. Stop shaking your head....if you don't know your passion, then you have been to lazy, blind or afraid to find it. And that, my friend, is sad. I think as we age..cough cough.....we begin to realize that we owe ourselves the effort to believe in what we do, whatever it may be. Don't isolate yourself to the point of being one lonely little twig. Be a tree with branches of passion in which you have invested , fertilized and then I HOPE, with amazement, have watched grow. No matter your age...what a treat you have in front of you. How wonderful to live. Don't be afraid. Don't be careless with this life. It's not free, but o my, the price tag, no matter how high, brings such joy. My hope is that your emotional bank account is not empty nor overdrawn, but brimming to the top. No matter what the emotion, it means you have lived, you have stepped out and up and involved. Nothing is free......don't expect it nor accept it. Happy Tuesday Guys and Dolls.

Your Right to be You!

The older I get,the more Unconventional I become. I really think that's not the usual thing. Maybe it's the fact that I spend every day with teenagers. Maybe it's because I am making a true effort to become less judgmental. But for whatever reason, and I don't think it matters, I see your life as yours. So no, do I think you can rob a bank because you need money, of course not. Do I think any action you do that hurts or endangers others physically or emotionally is ok, no. But here is my Conviction of the Day. If you're living your life in a manner that some or most people see as not on the right path, not following the rules, not walking in the straight line that should be walked, if you're living your life in a manner that is right for you and you have made peace with your faith and your God, then I say, you are stepping up to home plate and trying to hit a homer. I wonder if I would ever have the courage to do something that society sees as wrong. I wonder if I would ever be able to step across the line of conventionality? I wonder most of all if it is our place to judge those people who do? I think we tend to want everybody to be like us. We are all soldiers of the rules and regulations of whatever society says is true and correct. We tend to frown on those who don't look, or act or speak like we do. We, my friends, are so judgmental as to be sanctimonious. Am I a Christian? You bet I am. Do I believe in God's word? You bet I do. But is it my place to say I can interrupt His word exactly as it should be, should I even begin to presume that I am so intuitive that I know every nuance that is there? And that because I am so well versed that I should ridicule and spew nasty words to and about those who don't live their lives the way society deems right? Well, folks, I'm not too sure anybody is that intuitive. Do I think America needs to wake up to a big ole dose of those Holy Words? Yep, I do. But at the end of the day, you are only responsible for you. And if someone you know is choosing to walk their walk on a path that isn't exactly like yours and hurts no one, it is not your place to sit on your judgmental thrown and throw out phrases of hell and damnation. Speak your mind if you must, but be respectful, and honorable and above all, be sympathetic. You DON'T know their battles, you DON'T know their struggles. What you do know is that we are not the final be all, say all and live all. Everyone has a right to write their own pages, and as readers of the pages of others, we should do so in a manner that is noble, that is honorable, and OUR actions should speak our verses, and chapters of our lives. Please accept your neighbor. Hate is a powerful, destructive, ugly emotion. Don't live it. And don't accept it from others. Your friends and family will one day answer for their way of life.......but remember, my readers.....so will you. Happy Weekend to All.

Tinkering..................

I don't think we even begin to comprehend just how complex the human body is...both physically and emotionally. We have not even scratched the surface of the knowledge of the intricate knitting of our cells, and vessels, and organs and psyches. We are truly the most detailed, well oiled machines on the planet. We are amazing. But just as any machine needs maintenance, so do we. I tend to dwell on the emotional side of people. I wonder what makes you tick. I wanna know why you feel what you do, act the way you do, see life the way you do, solve problems the way you do, what colored glasses you wear.....rose colored?, dark shades?, or crystal clear lenses? I wonder why some people step up to the proverbial plate and give it their all and some people stay in the shadows and wait for it to be given. I wonder why some of us go through life with our heads in the sand and some of us stand tall and kill the demons of our lives with strength and determination. I wonder why I am me and you are you. I wonder why we can't see ourselves for whom we really are. I wonder why some of us dwell in places of bitterness and sadness and anger and some of us open the windows of life, take out the Windex and wash until we see the beauty that is the puzzle we are. We all have problems and sadness and regrets and jealousies and envies and excuses. But also we have grit and determination and love and gifts and smiles and laughs to be shared. Whether or not you see things and the people in your life as treasures to be handled with care and love, or whether you see life through Shades of Darkness, I hope you polish yourself, both mentally and physically. I hope you draw those who love you close and accept that life isn't easy, but you have people to walk the walk with you and stretch out hands to help you over the hills and mountains of your path. I hope you tinker with your body and mind every day. Tune it up. Oil the squeaky parts. Trim the parts that need trimming. Sweep the floors that need sweeping. Realize that each day the sun shines just for you. Don't lose it to the clouds. Don't close the drapes of your mind and dwell in the dark. I'm pretty sure that life is not intended to be lived with anything but joy. Yep, some days it takes more effort than others, but when the sun goes down on this or any day, then Elvis has left the building. Whether you have enjoyed the concert or worn earplugs and missed the music is your choice. Happy Friday Guys and Dolls.

Remembrance....................

I spent this morning with my husband at the VA Outpatient Clinic in Fort Worth. How fitting I thought to be there on this day, September 11, 2013. What you see there are the faces of people who have given up so much to strengthen the United States of America. My husband spent the 20th year of his life in a jungle fighting the most unpopular war known in the history of this great country. He carries the battle scars of that year to this day....both physical and emotional. He carries them with pride but also, I must say, with more than a little anger. They, the Viet Nam vets, were never welcomed home with flags or handshakes or pats on the back. Instead when they set foot back on the safe soil of their country, they were ridiculed, spit open and openly hated. It is not the point of this blog to rehash history. What is the point is that on this very day, as I sat in the lobby of this very fine facility, I saw faces of heroes every few feet. Some struggled to walk because of age...these were our WWII vets. Some couldn't walk because they, my friends, lost legs protecting you. Some were so young with faces so vacant as to almost be invisible. They never looked to the right nor left. They never acknowledged their surroundings. They were the ghosts of Iraq and Afghanistan. These young women and men literally broke my heart in two. Whether or not they were forced to go to war as in WWII, Korea or Viet Nam, or whether they stepped up to the plate and volunteered, in modern day service, each one of them carries their own very personal struggles and will until the day they die. Trauma does many things to people. Trauma day after day after day, builds emotional walls that I know alters these heroes forever. And on this very day, as we remember NYC and what happened, we also must remember that the branches of the service are not the only men and women who risk whatever it takes to protect. We can never forget that firemen, and policemen, and others put their lives on the line, literally, every day for you. I saw many people today. Those who were working and those who were seeking and struggling to overcome whatever the hand they were dealt. But you know what? There were flags flying and handshakes given and pats on the back for the vets. There were lowered voices for those who needed comfort and laughter and smiles for veterans who were ready to receive those gestures. We are always treated like heroes when we go there. We are always meant to feel gratitude and respect for that year in Viet Nam and for that young man of 20 who was sent to grow up spending each day fighting a silent war. I hold my heart in my hand every time we enter this facility. The anguish, the suffering acknowledged, but also the efforts of a staff to make things just a little better. A staff who meets you head on and says Thank You Sir for your service. So lesson learned....you may not see a veteran every day, but you DO see firemen and policemen and partners of those who raced into those burning buildings to save your fellow Americans on 9/11. Don't pass up a thank you. Don't ever forget. That would be the biggest insult of all.

Distance..............

We normally think of distance in feet, yards and miles one thing is away from another. My house is 20 feet from the road. I live 4 miles from town. Our town is 90 miles from the city. But there is another kind of distance that we have every day of our lives whether we realize it or not. Emotional distance. Not all bad. Not all intended. Not all recognized. But everyone from time to time distances themselves from others, problems, realities, opportunities, and even themselves. Think about it. I think at times this type of distancing is a coping skill but sometimes it can be a cop out. If we put space between whatever it is and our emotions, then the problem seems to go away, for however long we can manage to not face the truth. But the fact of the matter is the truth is still there. We are still responsible for our lives and the way we live them. What a shame to waste out on an opportunity because we've put emotional distance between it and our efforts. There are times when I believe emotional distance is a very good thing. We have to turn our backs for awhile, or we implode or maybe explode. After all, our psyches can take only so much before overload kicks in and we're no good to anybody.....especially ourselves. So then, I truly believe we have to step back and gather our wool if you will. But the time comes and this is just a hard fact that when we have grown stronger, we must once again step through that door of reality and face whatever demon is standing straight ahead. I'm as guilty of this as anyone reading this ramblin' blog. Out of sight....out of mind. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Whatever you choose to say to yourself as you put emotional blank space between you and 'it', the fact of the matter is, 'it' isn't going away. Be a David to your Goliaths. Protect yourself when you must, but at the end of the day, pick up that stone and throw it in faith and strength. Hit your target with all you have, for in reality that's all you can do. Maybe you won't completely solve your situation, but the fact that you have met it head on is a pat on your back. And we all thrive with those pats from not only our friends, but ourselves.

Comfort Zone.............

Do you have one? Maybe it's in the company of a best friend when you can hash out the problems of life and both give and receive love. Maybe it's in the quietness of the morning or evening by yourself when you can listen to nothing and absorb life. Maybe it's reading a Devotional or writing your thoughts in a journal. I think we all have to have comfort zones and not only have them, but use them. It is an unwinding, a mental defragging, an emotional dumping. It is a gathering of life, a tinkering of gears, a mental listing of hopes and dreams and beliefs and truths. We live in an age of constant noise, and communication through disengaged means. We see and hear as many things in an hour as our ancestors saw in a week,a month or a year. We are under constant bombardment of hustle and bustle and do this and do that and be this and be that. We are pieces of fragile material that the modern world has managed to unravel in a zigzag of haphazardness. So we eat on the run, we make decisions on the run, we absolutely let life race in the fast lane and in doing this we become so fragmented that just making a step forward is sometimes impossible because we have laid out too many paths we think we HAVE to follow at once or we will be left behind and o my, that can't happen!! Don't you know there is a plan for your life? It's not written chapter and verse for you. You can't go to your Smart Phone and find the Outline, nor open the App. You have to figure it out. You have to be willing to stop...just stop! Stop and get to know yourself. Stop and settle into your Comfort Zone and dwell. O, you say, I don't have time. Yes you do! Think about it...if you don't know yourself, then who do you know? Please, today, dig deep, weed out, think through, be the person you are meant to be. You have a comfort zone. Center yourself in it. Life is not a race, it is a deeply complex gift that should be opened in layers and softly and carefully tended. Find your comfort zone. Do it for yourself.

Jigsaw Puzzle.......

I woke up this morning thinking of jigsaw puzzles.....don't ask. Anyway, it appears to me that this is exactly what life is....one big jigsaw puzzle. We are all given pieces scattered around....some of us have more than others, but in any event, we each have our own individualized pieces. And our job is to fit them together properly and precisely to form one cohesive puzzle that in the end, will show a picture of our history. So the question of the day is, how do you fit your jigsaw puzzle pieces together? Do you start at the corners and carefully work your way to the center? Do you randomly and frantically search for that one missing piece that would complete a tiny section of your puzzle? Do you try to cram pieces together that you know really don't fit, but in your haste to get on with things you try and pound incompatible forms to force them to fit? Do you haphazardly jump from one side of your puzzle to the other, never finishing the part you started? Are there empty spaces in the background of your puzzle that you have intentionally left blank because they are too hard to face? So many pieces and so many attempts and so many techniques. I don't know how you put the jigsaw puzzle of your life together? What my hope for you is that when your puzzle is finished, it shows the life you want it to show. It is complete with no bent pieces that have been unsuccessfully crammed into the wrong space. I pray the corners and edges are straight and the center is beautiful with thoughts and deeds and actions of gratitude, bravery, kindness and courage. Think about your puzzle. It is unique to you. It is your gift to the world.

This Little Light of Mine..................

Maybe you weren't fortunate to be raised in an environment where you learned this song. "This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine." This is one of my favorite songs from my childhood days in church. We all have lights to shine. Some of us have huge spotlights and if we use them correctly, we can illuminate paths and ways and steps for others in the right directions. Some of us have halogen lights that conserve energy and last longer and expend less energy, but also spread light throughout our dark days as well as somber dark days of our friends and family. Some of us have tea lights. We are very softly lit beings that while we may not outshine anybody else, we are comforting and soothing and useful to send small arcs of light throughout our world. No matter the size, or wattage or brightness of your light, use it wisely. Don't blind others with your brightness, don't burn out long before you are meant to. Don't be so dim that we pass you by and aren't allowed to see the blessing you are. You have a light. Shine as you are meant to......Let yourself be the beacon you are supposed to be.

Beginnings...............

There are so many beginnings in our lives that I think we miss the majority of them. In this very hustle bustle life things just simply pass us by without our acknowledgement or even our awareness. I think one very important beginning in everyone's life is 'how you start your day'. There are those who sleep to the very last minute, jump up, hit the shower dress, grab a cuppa and are out the door and on their way in a minimum of time. But for me the beginning of each day is an event.....okay, there is no parade, pep rally or band playing. The beginning of the day for me is a few minutes of gathering, thankfulness, reflection, devotion and that really strong cup of coffee that clears the path for me to do all of the above. It's my personality. It's the way I turn my key to start the day. It the stillness of the house, the whisper of the day slowly turning from night, the awareness that a new opportunity has been given and received. It is some of the most precious moments of my life. I treasure my beginnings. No matter how you start your day; I hope you do too. I hope you give yourself even a nanosecond to say a humble thank you. Not every day is great, not every morning is peaceful, not every moment is reverent. But life is so enormously wondrous it should not be taken for granted. I hope you realize this and even if you only have a second or five, you do take whatever time you can to bend your knee, lift your hand, close your eyes and give thanks.