Fretting Your Life Away

Every morning I put a Word of the Day on FB....I used to put quotes, but then everybody was putting quotes and quite frankly I felt lost in the FB World of Quotes. So...I began a Word of the Day as my thing.  Today my word was Fret.......to be anxious.  I think fretting has become a national pastime.  We fret about so many things.  I wonder how many hours of our lives we waste fretting.  I have become a champion fretter.  I used to say my mother would fret because she didn't have anything to fret about so she felt like she was ignoring a problem or circumstance.  I have become my mother.  Although I always can find something to fret about.......usually at 2 a.m.  That's my best fretting time.  In the dark, in the quiet, when I wake, if I don't consciously turn off my 'Fret Button', I"m gonna spend the next hour fretting.  Sometimes I can actually turn off my Fret Button and I go back to sleep. Those are the best nights.....FretFree.  Do you fret?  When do you do your very best fretting......????

Wondering........

Just a casual question....when someone says...praying, I will pray for you, you are in my prayers, what does that mean to them?  Are they earnest in their prays for you?  Do they just say it... then hurry on to their next life step, or to the next problem of someone and say the same thing.  I really wonder how many people, actually stop what they are doing and send up a prayer...that very minute.  Or how many remember later on in their day or night.  Just a casual question......

Setting Sun....

Life is beautiful in all stages.  It's the eye of the beholder that can distort or understand that life ebbs and flows.  New babies to aged people.  We sometimes think that life is for the young.  But it's not.  Life is for the living.  Problems at any age are facts. Problems at any social level are a fact.  Our job is to recognize that our problems are not unique...they are universal.  Our job is to not dwell, not stew, not compare.  We have the gift of life.  Let's use it in the most special way we can find.  Looking behind breeds regrets.  Looking ahead....opportunities.  Take the opportunities and throw them on the regrets.  And SMILE while you do it.  Can we all remember that?.....Yes ....we can.  Try !!!

Well.....Duh!!

Over a year has past since I last wrote on this blog and I"m not gonna lie.....I had forgotten I started it.  I wonder why that is?  I've reread what I wrote that day....my 60th birthday... and thought that was some deep stuff.  Today I started a new blog..thus finding this one.  It's my alter-ego blog.  Light...fun...maybe just a wisp compared to this one.  So this is the deal....I declare myself two people and shall write as such.  I"m pretty sure I"m gonna be the only one reading either two...so it might be fun to pick and chose personalities.  I hope if anybody comes across either blog they say hello....I'll be sure and tell my other self you said hi! 

So New and Yet Not.

Today I turn 60.  There I've said it.....how in the world did this happen?  One day I'm so very young and now....well, not old, but different. 
I'm not writing this blog for anybody but me.  I need to use words.  I've always had a love relationship with words and I need them.  I need their honesty and their sound.  I need to feel them on my tongue and role them around in my mind. I am a lover of words.
Today I'm entering a new age.....and yes, that sounds trite, but I am.  An age of me.  Not of my kids, my husbands or my best friends.  Not of my work or my home...but of me. 
I am a giver of advice, a listener and a reader.  I am a woman who needs to be me.  In every event of my life...I need me.  This is what the turning or this age means to me.  Today I begin a journey of me.  I no longer conform to your thoughts of who I am...but my thoughts. 
If you want to go on this journey with me......welcome.  If it bores the tears out of you, then I don't blame you.  Sometimes I bore the tears out of myself.  Sometimes I make myself so sad I cry just to let the pain out. 
And yet....I have had and still have a wonderful life and any and all faults are my own.  Did I let life push me into many corners when I should have resisted?  You bet.  But at the time I wasn't strong enough to see that.  And at the time I loved those corners.  No sense huh? 
This is my personal journey...this is my journal of thoughts and prayers and well, me. I have raised great kids; I have loved the same man for 30+ years; I have written a book; I have taught thousands of kids.  I have cultivated the strongest women in my life...but not until today and yesterday and maybe the day before, I have come to understand that I have not cultivated me. 
This is my story.